We are sentient beings. We feel, perceive, and experience many emotions, positive and negative.
What do we feel like when we are hurt by others? The pain, the anguish occupies our mind and grows into unchecked anger and resentment. But do you realize what is actually happening here?
All this resentment ends up hurting us. Resentment is like a poison that ruins the flowers of joy that bloom inside all of us.
If you have been feeling resentful due to something or someone, here are a few ways to deal with it:
Figure Out What is Causing Resentment
We all know the cosmic law of cause and effect. Every action has a reaction or a consequence.
So if you are feeling resentful, try to understand why you feel this way, what is causing it. Recognising the root cause is the first step towards overcoming it.
If someone close to you let you down or disappointed you, the solution is to change your expectations from people. Since you cannot change other people, change yourself and accept what has happened.
Recognize Your Role
Sometimes we invest too many emotions into a relationship and when we get hurt, we curse ourselves for being so naive and not being able to see this situation coming.
Deep down, we feel upset for being so vulnerable. We feel confused and embarrassed. ‘Why do I have to go through all this?’ ‘I did not do anything wrong.’ ‘I don’t deserve this.’
The thing is, you can either stay bitter or move on ahead. You have the power to control your emotions. Putting the blame on the other person is not going to help you. It is one of the truths of life most of us tend to forget.
When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. – Bernard Meltzer
We get hurt the most when people we care about treat us like dirt and use us. The wounds run deep, I know. But what are we to gain by holding on to grudges? Nothing. So why not forgive those who hurt us.
Forgiving does not mean that you forget what happened. It just means that you choose not to harbor any anger and negative feelings.
Accept That People Are Not Perfect
Nobody is perfect. No, not even your favorite movie star.
People you like, spend time with, your friends, your family; they care about you but they will hurt your feelings sometimes. You can’t expect people to behave in a way that always pleases you or meets your expectations.
Everybody’s free to make choices they like and many a time you won’t like those choices because you think they are doing it the wrong way.
Well, just let them do what they want and do not judge them. Works for you as well as them!
I think now we better understand why resentment is like a poison. It fills our heart with cynicism, ill will, and endless frustration. We forget being compassionate, being open to love.
The choice lies with us. Do we choose to accept, forgive, and move on or complain, feel bitter, and poison our soul?
Once you free yourself of resentment, you will begin to see yourself as a new person, and realize how much inner peace you can feel.
What has helped you overcome resentment? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments below.