We all get our share of rejections. When we try really hard for something and end up running into a wall, we are tempted to give up and slink off.
Worst are the emotions that take over us – disappointment, embarrassment and a bruised ego.
It begins to creep into our minds that there is something wrong with us, we take the rejection personally, and curse the world for being such a mean place.
How you handle yourself after facing a rejection can be critical to your well-being.
Below are a few strategies to help you get over rejection. Before you know it, the word ‘no’ would cease to hurt your feelings.
It’s About Numbers
Who does not like to get a yes on their first try? Be it a date, a job, or a business pitch, anyone would be delighted, but the real life likes to throw a spanner in our works.
If you do get a yes on your first try, congratulations to you. But if you get denied, remember that it is all a numbers game. You need to try several times before you get the answer you want.
Novelist Stephen King’s first book Carrie was rejected 30 times. Disappointed, King threw the book in the trash bin. His wife retrieved it and asked him to resubmit. It was accepted and so began his illustrious writing career.
So don’t stop asking. What you want is out there somewhere, you just have to grab it.
Focus on What You Still Have
Rejection is an unpleasant feeling and the thoughts that ensue are rather uncomfortable. But avoid dwelling on these thoughts and dragging yourself down into the abyss of negativity and self-doubt.
Shift your focus on what you still have.
Your family, friends, hobbies, goals..things we take for granted like a roof over the head and three healthy meals a day. Not everybody has what you have. Feel blessed.
This feeling of gratitude will help you put things into perspective and not let any rejection overwhelm you.
It’s Not About You
What is likely to be your reaction if you are rejected for a job or don’t get a second date? Maybe you are not good enough, perhaps you knew it was going to be a disaster. It is easy to fall into this trap of defeatist thinking but remember not everything is about you.
Receiving a rejection is just like receiving someone’s personal opinion. It does not mean that you should stop. Maybe the person you wanted to date has been going through personal battles or was looking for someone else.
The job you wanted may not have been a good fit for you. Who knows?
We can never have all the answers but we can always learn something from every situation. So if something did not turn out right don’t burden yourself.
Something Better is Waiting
When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. – Alexander Graham Bell
It hurts to realize that what you dreamed of may need some adjustments because of things you have no control over. It could be our financial standing, our family, bosses or significant others.
Let’s say, you pitched a business idea to investors and were rejected. Definitely a hard pill to swallow. But maybe something better is waiting right round the corner, just a few weeks away.
When you are forced to tweak your dreams, believe that sometimes it is for the best.
Focus on What You Can Learn
Getting rejected is a sign of a life well lived, it means you are open to exploring new avenues, and willing to move out of your comfort zone.
But you gotta be honest with yourself. You need to introspect, see where you fell short, and what can be improved.
After facing rejection, ask yourself these two questions to get into a constructive frame of mind:
- What can I learn from this?
- What can I can do differently the next time?
This will help you get better results the next time and make progress.
Talk it Over with a Friend or Loved One
Thinking about rejection over and over can make the situation feel like a lot worse than it actually is. Bottling up emotions can take a serious toll on you.
Let the steam off by talking it over with a person you can trust, be it a friend, your spouse, or a family member. It will help you see the situation from a new perspective and with sober eyes.
You can figure out what happened and what needs to be done to move on.
It is always better to have another person’s suggestions or feedback on what happened. You can learn from their life experiences and figure out a way to keep moving forward.
