What is your reaction when the opportunity to try something new knocks on the door? Do you feel excited or it stresses you out?
Many jump to the opportunity and say ‘Yes, why not?’ while others dread the possibility of a new experience and quickly say No.
How do you feel when you are expecting a person to do something, and that person doesn’t deliver? Do you think ‘Not a big deal. It happens’ or ‘I should not have asked him in the first place?’
We usually feel disappointed when our expectations are not met. But the problem is us misplacing expectations. We are not born with some right that others are ought to know and do what we expect from them. No, it does not work this way.
To stay grounded and be successful, you need to stop expecting from others. Nobody owes you anything. Start doing for yourself what you expect from others. Here are the things you need to stop expecting from others.
Self-motivation is the best motivation. Nobody can be your 24/7 cheerleader. Once in a while, your friend might come around to lift you up and put some sense into you. That is what friends are for – to laugh at our bad jokes and treat our trivial problems as earth-shattering.
But at the end of the day, it is we who have to figure out what we want from our lives. Set goals and decide how to reach them. Motivation is not waiting around the corner for us to walk by and bump into us. Find something that gets you into motion.
Your experiences are unique. Nobody has walked in your shoes. How you view the world and things around you is different from others.
So when you say that ‘Why don’t people get it?’ You are actually expecting people to look from your perspective. Just as your views and outlook are different, so are theirs. So, don’t expect them to ‘understand’ you. Some might relate, others would just nod their heads pretending.
Let go of this need to expect people to think the way you do. Allow them to form their own perspectives.
So many things can go wrong. Don’t they every day? You promise to get in shape and go out for a jog. But you end up spraining your ankle. No more jogging from now on, you decide. But it could have gone right.
So there are always possibilities – in your life, daily routine, relationships. You can either choose to focus on what is wrong, complain, and bicker or see how you can grow and make things right.
Seek sunshine over darkness. You will light up your life and motivate others to follow their own trail.
Most of us think that our thoughts, our views are important and people should shun whatever they are doing and listen to us. There is so much they are missing out on. Well, you could not be more wrong.
If you want people to agree with everything you say, no matter how much insightful or deep it may appear to you, you are in for a lot of disappointment. What you can do is back your views with data and research to persuade others but even then don’t assume that they will agree.
I would like to mention a quote from Clint Eastwood. It makes so much sense.
‘Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.’
We all wish to be respected, to a certain extent at least. But before we seek it from those around us, we need to respect ourself. It has to begin from within. The negative self talk that we are so prone to starts a vicious cycle of feeling despair and helpless. Respect yourself, and it will set the standard for how others will treat you.
This question bothers us so much. It does not matter if you are in your 20s or 40s, the answer to ‘What I want from this life?’ is never easy. Some think of becoming a nuclear scientist cum part-time musician and others of a humble gardener cum crime fiction writer. We want so much from our life, but even after getting what we thought would make us happy, clarity eludes us.
This happens because most of us don’t know what we really want. We are influenced by choices made by people around us, advice of our parents and what is in vogue.
Don’t expect people to tell what you want. Explore your inner compass. If you feel a desire coming in naturally and you are sure that following it will help you lead an authentic life, don’t let it dissipate. Back up your ideas and follow through.
The truth is that we can’t really change people. If someone close to you has been behaving in an intolerable manner and you have to live under the same roof, then it becomes important to let the person know how you feel and what changes you want to see immediately.
Now you will come across many people in your life. It won’t be possible nor desirable to change them. You can either choose to accept them as they are or live without them.
The best you can do is support them, let them chart their own path, and embrace change gradually.
How happy you feel depends on your thoughts and how you perceive things around you. Reduce unnecessary drama and frustration from your life by lowering expectations from others. They don’t owe you anything, and neither do you. So, clear the weed and smell the flowers. I mean, focus on things that matter.
What would you like to add? What should we stop expecting from others?
Who does not like things to get better, their lives to get better? But the secret lies in something that we all resist with our might – Change. Though we know that the change is inevitable yet we still cling to our old habits because they make us feel safe.
Making time for solitude in our busy schedules seems like a difficult and also a bit frightening proposition. Some feel it won’t make any difference plus who wants to be alone? ‘I will get bored.’ ‘I will feel so lonely.’
Don’t some days feel like so sane and sound while others just take their toll on us? One day we feel so inspired, and on others we just can’t seem to get out of bed. What makes us feel this way?
We all dig comfort and when things change ever so slightly, we can’t seem to get hold of ourselves. We resist any change because it feels so hard.
It has been a month since I decided that I would walk at least 30 minutes a day as I believe (and everybody else I know) that taking care of our body must be our top priority. Initially, it felt like such a huge thing despite being a rather easy task. I kept to it. Now it just feels routine, part of each day.
I am sure most of you feel like giving up because you started something with planning and vigor, but as things stand, you feel like you have not achieved much or haven’t had the results you were expecting.
All this is very common when you try to make positive changes in your life. When you decide to do anything of consequence in life, this feeling of quitting will try to take over you. But it is at moments like these that you must take a firm resolve to keep going because what you do then decides where your life will go.
The biggest problem that we all face in our busy lives is losing the right perspective. We go through our days, our routine in a funk. The monotony makes us feel like our lives have lost any semblance of meaning. And we feel that whatever we are doing does not make much difference, to our or somebody else’s life.
When you feel like this, think why you are doing what you are doing. You will get answers that will make you see everything in a different light. Maybe:
• You want to get healthier so that you feel better about yourself.
• Support and keep your family safe.
• Explore the world and its magical wonders.
Whatever you wish to do, write down the answers on a piece of paper or make a note on your mobile phone. The next time you feel like quitting, read the answers. It will instantly cheer you up and keep you motivated.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. – Marilyn Monroe
When things get tough, we all feel like throwing in the towel and going home. But what good will come of it? Whenever things have been tough, I have realized that if I kept going, life just seemed to take a proper course, sooner or later.
Being at a low point forces you to change your attitude and find more effective ways to do things.
Life takes on some kind of balance if you just keep going, keep taking action instead of giving up. This way, even on the darkest days, you can gather some comfort and strength.
“When you encounter various trials, big or small, be full of joy. They’re opportunities to learn patience.” – Scott Curran
The ability to tolerate problems, delay, or suffering without getting anxious or annoyed is Patience. Seems like a quality only monks have!
In this age of instant gratification, we tend to forget that the best things in life are not delivered instantly. Anything of significant value requires consistency and hard work.
People who master patience feel confident, decisive, and have a rational outlook. They understand that the desire to speed things up is natural, but deep down they know that the road to success is paved with patience and persistence.
So, don’t beat yourself up needlessly for the things you did in the past. Focus more on the process and less on the results. You are okay. Calm down and be patient.
Whatever you are going through – job loss, depression, heartache, loss of a loved one, I would say this – Hold on and remember that ‘This too shall pass.”
Out there, people are going through difficult situations, setbacks, and obstacles, and there is always someone whose story you can relate to. Find someone who went through a situation similar to yours. How did they outdo difficult circumstances? Use their experience to guide yourself. Learn from them, how they achieved the outcome you also desire.
If you can’t find someone to open up to or those close to you are finding it difficult to help with a situation, you can seek support groups available online.
I think we all should remember this – Life is hard, and it does not pamper anybody. Every time it soothes you, it gives you ten blows.
Just like a wave has crests and troughs, our life follows the same principle. Accept that life won’t always be roses and sunshine. Things will get tough, so just keep going.
Nobody has it easy, be it the neighbor who you feel has got it all figured out quite early in the life or a colleague who has not missed a promotion in the last 5 years. When you give in to unnecessary comparisons or feel stuck in a rut – declutter, reset, and refocus. Get back to a clean slate and assess what you are actually working for in life, in career. Take some ‘me time’ and see if your priorities need readjustment. This will help you move forward with a clearer mind.
When you feel like quitting, remember that your goals are IMPORTANT. Resist the urge to abandon them. Giving up is easier but continue anyway because it will make your life better and you know that. Stay focused and don’t sweat the small stuff.
What do the words ‘emotions’ and ‘intelligence’ mean to you?
Emotions are thought of something that keep us from making the right decisions, from focusing on what is really important. On the other hand, intelligence is touted to be 100% perfection.
It’s morning. Time to start your day. But rather than looking forward to the day ahead, you don’t feel like getting up and facing it.
We all experience this feeling of emptiness from time to time and it is rather difficult to shrug it off.
We all get our share of rejections. When we try really hard for something and end up running into a wall, we are tempted to give up and slink off.
Worst are the emotions that take over us – disappointment, embarrassment and a bruised ego.
Learning to trust a person can be a different experience for many of us. For some, it just happens naturally while for others it is difficult to let their guards down.
It is easy to understand why many people take their time to trust someone. Trusting the wrong person can result in being taken advantage of, abusive relationships, financial losses, and several undesirable outcomes.
How have things changed. When you were a kid, life was all about joy, simplicity, and having unadulterated fun. Then we grew up, got college degrees, and landed up with jobs.